Life Lessons Learned: Whipped Cream vs. Skin Cream

In engineering we are supposed to do Lessons Learned for each project. What’s that you ask? At a project’s end, or some other milestone, you catalog and discuss the lessons learned. This way your team builds knowledge and increasing skill bases, all the while decreasing the risk of future mistakes. Great idea, right? So why does it feel like nobody does it for Life? With that I present a Life Lessons Learned.

This post is the reason why I am starting my life lessons learned. I am on my fourth two-year old and I still have not learned this one.

Last Saturday, I was fixing waffles for the kids. It was great because we had a gallon of fresh strawberry toppings and a metric ton of whipped cream. We’re not talking about Cool Whip or other crap. This was the real deal. My wife had a birthday luncheon for herself and had served strawberry shortcake. The kids and I were reaping the leftovers.

With all this gooey deliciousness it was no surprise that Ben, our four-year old, and Tim, our two-year old, were covered in toppings. I wiped them both up and sent them on their way. I then began to work on the stationary messes. Everything was almost put away, except for the whipped cream, when Tim appeared behind me covered in whipped cream. It was all over his face with a big glob on his finger. Realizing the danger I grabbed his hand and looked around for the washcloth. It was still in the sink and out of reach. Not wanting to be wasteful I just licked off the glob of whipped cream.

The following thoughts then ran through my head: “What funny tasting whipped cream?”, Wait he just came from the hall, not the kitchen?”, “It’s not whipped cream!”
Rebecca watching from the couch noticed my odd paralyzed behavior.
“What’s the matter?”
“Iss naw wip ceam!”
“What?”
“ISS NAW WIP CEAM!!!”

Two things happened at this point. First, I started to hear laughter. Second, my mind finally made that leap of logic and I ran down the hallway. When I got to the bathroom my suspicions were confirmed. It was not whipped cream but Equate dry skin cream. Tim had obviously made the same mistake as me and had attempted to sneak a treat. I quickly washed my mouth out. For the rest of the morning, the inside of my mouth was feeling silky smooth.

Life Lesson Learned: don’t ever stick a two-year old’s finger in your mouth, even if you think you know what is on it.

But wait! You ask, “how does Equate dry skin cream taste?” Let’s just say I don’t foresee the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook adding it to their emergency substitutions page.